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We constantly witness news about violence against women, and many incidences of violence go unnoticed.

gkslzky

gkslzky

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There is an urgent for efforts to end violence against women. What are some ways to deal with this problem?

Numerous kinds of violence incidents have been witnessed by the society through the years. Some of them, such as interparental violence and violence against women, are even widespread all across the world. In this essay two main solutions to cope with the violence towards women will be discussed: implementing harsh punishments and conflict resolution education.

One of the possible measures to take for handling violence against women is to implement harsh punishments. When people notice the stiff consequences of their bad behaviour towards other people, they immediately change their behaviours to all people. In this case, individuals who resort to violence against women are mainly their close partners. For this reason, governments need to take strict measures in order to solve this issue because women, in this condition, have no place to escape this kind of violence. They need to be carefully protected from their assaulter by laws, and they also need to trust the government if they go to a law-enforcement agency in order to fill a compliant.

Other utmost of importance way to diminish incidence rates of violence against women is that provide people of all ages with conflict resolution education. Some people may have a tendency to show violent behaviours against all people. Whether it stems from their characters or not, violence cannot be justified under no circumstances. For this reason, young people and adults who have anger management issues should be educated. There has been always violence on the world, yet particularly in this century we as humans have come a long way and learned how to address these kinds of problems.

All in all, two fundamental solutions relate to violence against women have been discussed in this essay. As a result, implementing these solutions will be fruitful for all human beings all around the world.

P.S. : I am looking forward to read your assesments regarding to this essay.
 

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This is well-written. Some points:
immediately change
A high degree of confidence should not be used in formal writing. (Crimes exist even after death penalties).
All in all,
Either write to sum up, or in conclusion.
It should be good for 7.
 

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